Oh what a night...

Oh what a lady, what a night! LOL. I love that song. Music is life, in a few minute snapshot. Actually, the lady of my night was my instructor. The weather was less than desirable in my neck of the woods. She let me skype into class so I didn't have to drive through the blizzard warnings. I am so thankful However, I really missed interacting with everyone in the class. What a great group of people.

Today has been an interesting day. I spent most of it frantically going between the weather and the 511 road reports. I wouldn't say that I'm afraid to drive on bad roads, for the most part, I am not. However, several years ago the girls and I got stuck in Iowa after an ice storm. I never want to be in that position again. Thankfully tonight, I parked my butt on the bedroom floor for 3.5 hours and did the virtual classroom thing. I'm telling you, there is something missing when you don't get to be a part of the group. Two presentations were given, and several class discussions were held. Missing out was hard. Hearing was hard, but it was still so much better than sitting in a ditch or recopying somebody's notes. The whole love your child and fill them with heartfelt messages cannot be stressed enough. No child acts out to be a pain in the butt, they are craving the attention they NEED to develop properly. How many times to I fail in my own life? It doesn't matter. What matters are the times I hear myself starting to say something nasty and bite my tongue instead. Then focusing on what they are doing right and filling them full of the love that I do feel. That is what is important. Authentic love, people. That's where it's at. Children aren't the only ones craving this sort of attention. We all are. It's on the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs for a REASON. It is a basic NEED. So then why do we spend so much of our time in power struggles? Why do we feel the need to be right and to have power over another, when all anyone wants is acceptance and love? I do not know. I fall victim to this pattern all the time. I think we all do. Our current society is set up this way. Why? Again, I do not know. I just don't understand. All I can do, is all I can do. What I can do is to do the best by my girls. I hope someday they can see that I've tried. With ever fiber in my body, I have tried. Ahhhhhhhh!

The girls' high school is considering opening a high school within the high school. It is not a good fit for Katie, she needs the structure found in the classroom. Lord knows, she doesn't get structure at home. I think we've finally come to realize that we just operate on two different planes, and that it is okay. We are wired differently. However, I think this might be a good fit for Dee. The concept is that they do not go to many classes. They will have learning objectives that must be met by various projects, test, papers, and whatnot. The 83 minute class period is hell on an ADHD kid. I'm not sure she's organized enough to handle this free form, but that has to be easier to solve than her trying to stay focused and on task in a desk listening to a teacher for 83 minutes, four times a day. I hope this takes off. It also fits in nicely with one of the books I am reading. If I can squander up the guts, I am going to call the asst. principal who is leading up this new program. Just in tonight's lecture alone, I ran across a lot of information that will either help validate this decision or help to make it more successful. Who knows if it'll be taken to heart, but it cannot be if it is not shared. *sigh* Shelly bucks the system again. I don't know better than others, I really don't. I just know differently. Maybe it's from living outside the norm box. All I can say is that the world would be a much less prozac popping place if we could all treat each other like I've been learning about. I ran into a great quote today. Jane Nelsen said "Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?" Can I hear the NEVER's bounding throughout cyberland? I certainly hope so. So, then, why is it we DO this? Again, I have no clue.

Is a full societal mental change possible? Anything is possible. Will I ever see it? I hope so, but I'm not holding my breath either. What I DO know is that I can do my best to put it out there as often as possible. Did you see that gauntlet I just threw down for myself? Anybody else in? I hope so. Change has to come from the bottom up, one person at a time. I don't know about you, but I've about had it with power struggles, cut-throat backstabbing and political posturing.

love to you all
{{{hugs}}}
the crazy one